See also a news update on the successful search for weapons of mass destruction!

[Anti-Amerikan jokes responding to anti-French jokes connected to the Gulf War March, 2003]

The top ten replies to "cheese-eating surrender monkeys":

10. How many Amerikans does it take to prosecute a sex crime?
Answer: 535--435 in the House, 100 in the Senate

9. How do Republicans reduce unemployment?
Answer: By prosecuting oral sex.

8. How do Republicans increase unemployment?
Answer: They cut spending on Monica Lewinsky.

7. How many times did employers fire Saddam Hussein?
Answer: Only once, the CIA paid for the rest of his work.

6. How many wives does the average Amerikan husband have?
Answer: 10, 1 at home and 9 in Utah.

5. How does the Amerikan womyn avoid the singles bar scene?
Answer: She marries her kidnapper.

4. How many Amerikans does it take to catch and prosecute child-abusing polygamists?
Answer: No one knows: it's never been tried.

3. How many Amerikans does it take to buy a gallon of gas?
Answer: 250,000 to seize it and one to pump it.

2. Why do Amerikan wars always come in twos?
Answer: The first one creates terrorists and the second one does too.

1. Amerikans, the "Cheez-Whiz-eating Lewinsky addicts."