[[1]mim3@mim.org says:] "It's possible for instance that K's stuff on
   Vampires is perfectly understood in that group of people. I pay close
   attention, but I still can't say I'm convinced K really didn't
   understand what he was doing in that connection all along."
   
   K. says: A man hears what he wants to here and disregards the rest. I
   thought that I was in a cool magical thing, that Vampires were just
   something you willingly suspended disbelief in because they were cool.
   Then, I was out stuffing TOV business cards into every book in the
   Occult section of the bookstore like a good little cultist when I read
   "about the author" in Witley Streiber's "Communion." He wrote "The
   Hunger." Suddenly, the Chain Of Coincidence was complete. I was faced
   with stark, real evidence that all this "might be, except of course
   that's not possible" was indeed possible. The Temple of the Vampire
   had chosen Strieber to cause a Grey Scare because they -liked- his
   books "Wolfen" and "The Hunger." Maybe Strieber is a Vampire himself.
   Lucas Martel says no, and the best cover for an agent is total
   ignorence. So, here I am. I have a chain of coincidences a mile long,
   and suddenly I go from "playing around" to being the Preditor of
   Humans.
   
   1.) at age 2 or 3, I had a night-terror. Night-terrors are not the
   same as nightmares, they are more akin to an "Alien Abduction"
   experience. Two women vampires swirled around my room and attacked me.
   Unlike dreams where I see by self like on TV, I was Behind My Eyes. I
   could KEENLY feel my somatic markers (not something I would do in a
   dream as a child - I have lost my "original mind" in regard to chackra
   blocks and crap, but I DO REMEMBER I knew the difference between dream
   and real no problem as a kid, and my body said THIS IS REAL. Why did
   they not drain my blood or kill me? Was it becuase they were testing
   to see if I was one of them?
   
   2.) I would bite kids, and pretend to be a tiger sometimes, at age 4
   or five. Why did I do that? Was it a natural Vampiric feeding
   instinct?
   
   3.) At about age 7 I had my front teeth pulled. This left me with the
   ability to pull my canines alone over my lips. It took over a year for
   my grown-up incisors to come in, unlike the dentest assured my mother.
   Consipracy?
   
   4.) Speaking of conspiracy, I find out much later that my mom was into
   the occult when she concieved me. Am I akin to Crowley's Moonchild?
   
   5.) I have had a deep interest in Sumeria ever since reading the
   Necronomicon. Why this interest? Could it be Genetic Memory?
   
   6.) I would NOT bottle feed as a child. Why not? Did I need something
   more than formula could offer? Did I need to drain my mother's
   Lifeforce in addition to the milk?
   
   If you add up the fact that you can turn ANYTHING into "the one and
   only supernatural monster" if you give it enough power, (in ToV
   mythology, Vampires are Gods, Demons, Angels, Faries, Werewolves,
   Aliens, UFO's, responsible for the Bramuda Triangle, the Face on Mars,
   Elvis sightings, Jesus, etc.) Thers -is- a book I was never able to
   find called "Vampires or Gods?" that talks about the earliest gods of
   Civilization being very much like the modern Vampire archetype.
   
   Now, add to the chain of coincidences that fact that Nemo (Lucas
   Martel) if a hypnotherepist, and has some very powerful autosuggestion
   methods. Feeding is such a Euphoria. It's pretty much deep, deep
   breathing. I still don't like to do deep breathing because even though
   I relax physically, my mind remembers what I thought I was doing.
   Sacrifice is just the oposite. It is exhaling very, very slowly
   hissing all the way in a dark or totally dark room in front of a
   mirror. Lots of people see stuff doing that. I saw stuff, too. It
   looked like me, but alien and female. Big, bug eyes and a lot shorter.
   It freaked me out, but I kept going because I had to Sacrifice.
   
   If I would have stayed in, I could have added Auras and Astral
   Projection to the shit I could do. Combine that with the fact that I
   wanted to -look- Vampire but never could (except of course that thing
   with the teeth), and hey. Tani says I know what Blacks feel. I can't
   say, but I think I know what one black does: Michael Jackson. The man
   altered his appearance in much the same way I would alter mine if I
   had the money. He hates the way he was born, I can see that in him.
   Heck, you would have to be a morMon NOT to see it in him. How many
   blacks feel this way about themselves? How many blacks would Embrace
   the Knife if they could?