I Wanna Believe

I wanna believe that education is more valuable than incarceration, but it's hard when prison yard outnumber campus quads in every state across the nation.
I wanna believe....
I wanna believe that black lives matter to all and not just the blacks who live it, but I can't erase the vision of black men murdered by white police with no punishment because their families' pain is so vivid.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that confederate flags don't represent real oppression and race hatred, that we as a people can rise above the stereotypes that we perpetuate to keep us from becoming wasted.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that we can open our eyes and recognize the Kings and Queens that Africa birthed, surviving this genocide with pride and living out the prize of realized and mastered worth.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that my people didn't hang from trees and get sold on blocks, that our babies' heads weren't stomped while slave masters prayed to God not to let their savage souls rot.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that we only do drugs to escape a reality too hard to accept, and that it's deeper than just a high when you've lived your whole life with neglect and a heart full of regret.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that times have changed and life isn't only getting worse, but a white man just took a .45 and murdered nine people praying inside a historically black church.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that kids can live free without the fear of being shot while coming home from school, that we can teach our babies something more useful than "hands up, don't shoot" rule.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that being in a gang means more than flagging a color and throwing signs, that we know the foundation was to oppression and stand for our communities not to show that we're blind.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that the brothers behind the wall are doing more than getting high, playing ball and lifting weights, and that they spend more time studying the law trying to see how many loopholes exist in their case.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that losing another brother only helped to make me stronger, that every struggle I've faced and conquered has left me with lessons that I can embrace a little longer.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that when I'm done my words will forever rest in your hearts, and that if you hear my pain and sincerity I've done my part.
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe, I really do, but I've never had a reason to,
so to me believing is deceiving
and if I believe I'm afraid I'll begin to grieve anew,
belief is faith and faith is hope
while hope is something I've never really had,
so if I hope and believe in faith
how do I know I'll never again be sad?
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe...
I wanna believe that love is something we can all achieve, and I really want love but even more than that I just wanna believe!!