I am 40 years old Hindu Indian from South America Guyana. I have life without parole in the state of Georgia. I have been on Lockdown since 2005.
I was put on lockdown for an incident i did because of my uncontrolled mental health problems which i beg for help, but no one believes me. While I was on lockdown I asked the mental health counselor for some kind of therapy. The only thing they did was give me mental health medication. Those meds mess me up good. And when I complain, they just give me new meds. So i stop complaining because I don't want to become a zombie on mental health meds.
The officers think i am from the Middle East and a terrorist. They told me that their family and loved ones got killed in Iraq. I told them i am a Hindu Indian from Guyana, but they don't believe me. They spit in my food, and sometimes they won't feed me. And they skip me on shower and yard call. Then they lie on me by saying i refuse to eat and shower and go to yard. When I told the warden about this problem he did nothing about it. A few weeks later i was moved to K-BID. In those cells it had a TV, power sockets, toilet bowl flush switch and light switch.
I wrote my family and told them what i am going through every day. My family was afraid that the officers will beat me and kill me. My family told me to stop complaining. That is what i did and i took all the abuses. In my cell i never talked to other prisoners. All i do is read books, listen to music, and watch TV. When the officers come to my cell i don't look them in the face.
The way i clean my cell is i use a rag to put soap on it and wipe the walls, floor, and toilet bowl. Days that they won't let me take a shower, i wash up in the sink. My fan saves me in the summer, the TV saves me from going crazy, and my family saves me to live.
Over the years on lockdown, i walk back and forth in my cell and talk to myself. I worry a lot about if they will spit in my food today or beat me. And when i get a letter from my family I have to read it about 10 times because I don't understand it. And when i write my family they don't understand my letters. So i have to think about what i want to write and read it over and over so it makes sense.
My mental problems have gotten worse and it blew up in July 2013. The Warden Robbert Toole had all TVs, light switches, toilet bowl flush switch, and power sockets removed from K-BID. I then asked Warden Toole why he did this. He just walked away from my cell. Two days later, two CERT team officers handcuffed me and beat me. I never was taken to medical. Every day i worry about what they going to do to me, so i try to kill myself. When they took me to see the mental health doctor, I tried to tell them my problem but they cut me off and said i need new meds. They shot me up with meds and sent me back to K-BID where the cell is so hot and i have to smell my pee and shit for many hours because the floor officer is n where to be found.
I wrote my family and told them what they did to me. That day i stopped eating at all. On the 9th day of not eating, they found me passed out on the floor and they took me to the medical floor and i told the doctor i stopped eating for 9 days. On the 20th day of me not eating Warden Toole told me to write my family and tell them that i am ok and he will have the CERT team beat me no more and have the officers stop spitting in my food. Eight days later i got a letter from my family begging me to eat. I was sad so i ate food again. Two days later they put me back to K-BID to smell my pee and shit. And it got worse.
On 15 July 2014 they took all my personal property and gave me 1 boxer, 1 pair of socks, 1 jumpsuit, 1 state toothpaste and toothbrush, 1 state soap, 1 state shower shoe, 1 toilet paper, 1 bible, 1 bed, 1 blanket, 1 pillow, and 1 bed sheet. Then they told me that i have to do a Tier 2 program. And this is the reason why: "Inmate has received no disciplinary infractions within the past year. Inmate XX was charged with causing the death of an inmate in 2005. And a validated member of Five Percenters. Inmate XX should be assigned to the Tier 2 phase 1."
In the Tier program phase 1 is 90 days without personal property, and commissary is limited to only legal supplies; no books, no magazines, no personal pictures, no general library books. Each cell has a comment sheet on the door. The floor officers write on the comment sheet if a prisoner acts up.
Each phase is 90 days. At the end of 90 days they will do a 90 day review. They will check if you got any disciplinary infractions or any bad comment on the review sheet that is on the cell door. And if there is just one bad comment we have to start over on phase 1. Around November 2014 they made phase 4 for those prisoners who cannot return to population. And around February 2015 they made a phase 3+ which is also for those prisoners who can't go back to population. Now because of the Tier 2 program i can't complain about cell clean up, shower, yard call, and to get my toilet flushed because the floor officers will write a bad comment and i have to start all over on phase 1.
In December 2014 every prison in the state of Georgia gives each prisoner a free food package on Christmas day, but Warden Toole said the Tier 2 program will not get any.
When the mental health counselor comes to lockdown i tell him my problems and ask for some kind of mental health therapy all he does is laugh and ask me if i want some crossword puzzle and then he walks away from my cell.
I put in grievances but they throw it away because of the new rule. Lisa Fountain, Senior Investigator for Inmate Affairs and Appeals Unit Southeast Area said in a memo that when you turn in a formal grievance to the counselor that he will take it back to his office and review it, then they will mail me a grievance receipt. And every time i turn in my grievance and i don't get back no receipt, the counselor lies to me that i never gave him any grievance. So now i can't grieve the Tier 2 program and my mental health problems because Lisa Fountain made a way to get rid of a good grievance. I have no proof at all, and when you complain about it to the Warden he will have the CERT team come in your cell and take all your pens, stamps, legal works and make you do the program from the beginning on phase 1.
Last year a prisoner killed himself because of the punishment in K-BID and this year, 2015, two more prisoners in K-BID killed themselves because of the cruel punishment we get from the wardens, unit managers, officers, CERT team, counselors and the mental health department. I don't know how to file a lawsuit and fill out a 1983 Civil Rights form. It took me about 2 1/2 weeks to write this letter. I wanted to spell the words right and I re-read this letter 35 times to make sure it made sense.
At this moment i am in lockdown in K-BID at Georgia State Prison and it's hot as hell in this cell and i have to smell my shit and pee for many hours and worry about if the officer spit in my food and if they throw away my mail and if they going to beat me again and walk back and forth in my cell every day and talk to myself. I also am getting more mental and i believe if they ever put me back to any general population it will be dangerous. Because i have dangerous buildup that will explode and someone will get hurt again. I need some kind of therapy and help. What is being done to me is also being done to another prisoner who will go home soon. What do you think he will do when he goes home? The free world people in the state of Georgia need to know that Georgia's prisons system creates monsters and society should not be surprised when those monsters are released and do a horrific crime. Society needs to know and they need to know fast. I pray that someone reads this letter an don't put it in a file. I hope someone can help me with my mental health problems that department of corrections won't treat.